What Role Do Men Have In Stopping Violence Against Women?

One of the events that stood out to me in the Avon and Vital Voices International Women’s Day event series is the discussion on how men can stop violence against women.   When I was in college this issue came up quite a bit.  It is nearly impossible to truly discuss violence against women without addressing how men can help as well.  Too often, the conversation highlights the problem and foucses on what women can do and how we, collectively, can help, yet very little discussion about what men can do.

It’s important to explicitly include men for two reasons. One, as friends, fathers, partners, and siblings, they will need to know how they can be there to support a woman they love that has been hurt.  Secondly, addressing violence against women requires us to look beyond whether she stays or leaves.  Every day actions–the kinds of comments we make and allow others to make, the language we use and attitudes we have–indicate our expectations of each other and what we will tolerate.  In that spectrum of attitudes and behaviors men have varying yet  significant control.

While I didnt get a chance to attend the event, I am interested in learning more about this topic.  I recently came across this program by UNICEF Coaching Boys Into Men to teach boys about violence prevention around the globe.  What resources have you seen?  What thoughts do you have on this issue?

**Full disclousure: I am being compensated by Avon to write about International Women’s Day and related programs.


International Women's Day and Addressing Violence Against Women

Yesterday was International Women’s Day, yet more than a day is required in order to address violence against women.  The statistics are alarming–according to the Avon Foundation for Women, one in three women worldwide experience violence in their lifetime, and in the U.S., a woman is assaulted every nine seconds. Around the world, services for victims are often vastly underfunded or unavailable, and in many countries, laws to protect women do not exist or are not enforced.

I have found this topic incredibly difficult to discuss.  On the one hand, it is clear that the widespread use of violence curtails the freedom and rights of women across the globe.  On the other hand, where do we start looking for solutions?  Some tell women to just leave an abusive home, others want to tackle poverty which some argue leads to an increase in violence, while others think the images of manhood and womanhood represented in the media encourage violence.  Having witnessed domestic violence first hand, I can tell you that these discussions are great to have but how can we turn these ideas into action? We also face the challenge that violence does not look the same or is called the same name across the globe.

That’s why I am excited that Avon and Vital Voices have a week of discussions surrounding violence against women and that Avon has created a variety of programs across the country to address this issue. They are celebrating the lives of  women while incorporating different perspectives–like how men can stop violence against women–and Avon has  expanded its international support of local communities fighting violence in addition to some awesome initiatives at home.

I’ll be blogging about these discussions and programs for the rest of the week and hope you will share your thoughts.  How do you think we can stop violence against women?

**Full disclousure: I am being compensated by Avon to write about International Women’s Day and related programs.


March 10: Join Me for Live Twitter Chat for Young Nonprofit Professionals

#ynpchat


This Wednesday, March 10  from 12-1pm EST, join me and Rosetta Thurman from Perspectives from the Pipeline on Twitter as we host the first ever live Twitter chat for young nonprofit professionals!  We both get asked similar questions from our peers about how to land a great nonprofit job and how young people can advance their nonprofit careers. So, we’re kicking off the series with a hot topic that we both covered on our blogs recently: how can young nonprofit leaders build their personal brands to enhance their careers?

Other nonprofit leaders, like Hildy Gottlieb, have used this format successfully to build a community online where people openly exchange ideas and advice so we’re excited to try this out with fellow young nonprofiteers.  We hope you’ll join us and don’t forget to use the hashtag #ynpchat for our discussion!

What: Twitter Chat for Young Nonprofit Professionals

Your Hosts: Rosetta Thurman @rosettathurman and Allison Jones @ajlovesya

Topic: Personal Branding and Professional Advancement – How can young nonprofit leaders build their personal brands to enhance their careers?

When: Wednesday, March 10, 12pm-1pm EST

How: Search #ynpchat on Twitter, Tweetdeck, Hootsuite or your favorite Twitter client


Remembering Oseola McCarty: Lessons She Taught Me about Social Change

March 7, 1908 - September 26, 1999

In July 1995, 87-year-old Oseola McCarty gave $150,000 to the University of Southern Mississippi. While the amount may not seem remarkable—especially in terms of a gift to a university—Ms. McCarty’s generosity is a testimony to how anyone can help make the world a better place.

Born March 7th 1908 in Hattiesburg, Mississippi she dropped out of school in the sixth grade to take care of her sick aunt. She spent the rest of her life as a washerwoman, living frugally eventually amassing considerable wealth. In 1995, gave $150,000 to the University of Southern Mississippi, asking that the money be given to poor students of color whom she felt might face substantial financial barriers to obtaining an education.

Though she gave the gift quietly and requested no grand acknowledgement of her gift, she became a social change superstar. She received honorary degrees from Harvard and University of Mississipi, published a book, carried the Olympic Torch in 1996, received the President’s Citizen’s Medal and the Community Heroes Award from The National Urban League, and countless programs and buildings named after her.

Her story is truly inspirational and when I read about her in The Greater Good, I realized two important aspects of social change we must always keep in mind:

Realize that change starts with you: While she intended to give without getting much attention, what’s clear is that her desire to help was a lifetime commitment. Making the world a better place is not just something you do from 9-5 nor is it something that can necessarily be put on your resume. It’s your beliefs and your interactions with others. Change starts from the inside.

Focus on the future and the greater good: Becoming involved in social change is inherently an act of faith. We are working to eradicate long-standing problems that take time to dismantle. We may never see the fruits of our labor but the point isn’t just to focus on what we want to have, but to ensure that the generation that comes after us has more. She never met the students who benefited from her generosity; that didn’t stop her from believing she could make a difference.

She is certainly my inspiration. And on her birthday, I am happy to honor her.

“I’m giving it away so that the children won’t have to work so hard, like I did.”

Wikipedia Entry on Oseola McCarty

New York Times Obituary


Education Inequality: What Are We Doing Wrong?

On Tuesday I went to “Men of Color and Education: A Discussion on the Pursuit of Excellence” hosted by Teach for America. Panelists were Common, John Legend, Dr. Marc Lamont Hill, Ruben Diaz Jr., Dr. Pedro Noguera, and Eric Snow, moderated by David Banks.

The panelists discussed everything from manhood and racism to personal responsibility and the importance of systemic change. The need to explore education from these different angles is crucial as the situation with Black and Latino men in school is dire: they are more likely than any other group to drop out, be expelled, or classified as having a learning disability. And as educators, Black men make up a mere 2% of all teachers and Latino men less than 5%.

Two and a half hours of high energy and sometimes tense moments is a lot to recap. I’ll highlight a few points that really spoke to me.

“There is a difference between ‘I want to send my child to this school’ and ‘I want to close the achievement gap.’” ~John Legend

Let me start by saying that John Legend was not the star of the evening. While he supports a variety of education initiatives, he got on everyone’s bad side with his generally conservative approach to education. Yet he made an interesting point by bringing up the difference between what we want for ourselves and what we want for those we serve. Unfortunately, I have seen that the two do not often match. Though good intentioned, we may assume “these kids” cant do certain things or wont be interested in certain topics, never truly engaging them or offering praise for the bare minimum. We are there to help and sometimes think that means not pushing or challenging the students or ourselves to demand more of each other.

“Our children succeed not because of school but in spite of it.” ~Dr. Marc Lamont Hill

When he said this it made me reflect of the problematic way we celebrate “inner city kids” who may not succumb to the many problems of their surroundings. We have it backwards when we do this. The shock is not that people like these kids succeed. Instead, the shock is that we expect them not to succeed. Implicit in our celebrations of each child who manages to get out of a depressed neighborhood or home is the acknowledgment that these situations require almost super heroic efforts to overcome and that these stories are the exception rather than the rule. Our narrative speaks to the injustice those children endure while our celebrations allow us to say that perhaps it’s not so bad in the first place.

“There is a conspiracy to keep you here…but are you part of the conspiracy too?”~Dr. Pedro Noguera

When addressing a group of young men in prison he told them that jobs and revenue were dependent on their imprisonment yet demanded that they think of how they were involved in keeping that system running. When we are dealing with something as complex as education and how the failure of schools creates a pipeline to prison for far too many black men, there is no one person to blame. We are all responsible. You need not be a teacher to have a hand in how young people view education and respond to challenges. As parents, friends, and neighbors, we have a responsibility to demand excellence of each other and challenge systemic injustice.  Our attitudes towards education, our definitions of manhood, our expectations of students, teachers, and parents, what we praise and what we denigrate all contribute to the inequality we see.

Since I work in a school that serves a low income minority population, I have had the opportunity to see the many issues the panelist brought up play out a regular basis. In the end, I left the discussion feeling energized and more committed to this topic. It’s rare to have so many people from different parts of the education community together learning and trying to generate solutions.

Here are some other perspectives on the event:

Gotham Schools: Testing, charters get boos at Teach for America education panel

Jose Vilson:  Dear John: Where I Disagree with John Legend

Wall Street Journal:  Common, John Legend Speak at Hippest Town Hall of the Week

Other articles on Inequality in Education:

Sotomayor and the Future of Catholic Schools

Nonprofits and the Education Gap

When it comes to education inequality, what are you doing to solve the problem?