Elisa Ortiz recently wrote a great piece about her journey into the nonprofit sector. It got me thinking about mine and the challenges I am facing. So for this Nonprofit Milleninal Bloggers Alliance post, I’m reflecting on why I’m in the sector.
I didn’t get into the nonprofit sector because of a desire to feel warm inside. In fact becoming a nonprofiteer was never a goal of mine. I got involved in social justice work because I was angry. I was angry at the blatant inequalities I saw every day on my way to my posh prep school in downtown Brooklyn from my family’s tiny apartment in the projects on the other side of the borough. It was blessing, of course, to be given such an opportunity but it didn’t come without challenges, primarily not really feeling like I fit in anywhere.
College was an escape from the tension and an opportunity for reflection. I searched endlessly for stories that could articulate my feelings of confusion, frustration, and outrage. I found them and discovered ways to put my passion into action—volunteerism, research, and connecting with people from various backgrounds to refine my work. Education was my saving grace and I work to increase access to those who need it most.
Yet oddly enough the more I work in the nonprofit sector, the more removed from my original passion I feel. The language I use is no longer for the sole purpose of exploring my experiences. Now, I’m describing someone else’s experiences for someone else’s use. It almost feels other worldly. Suddenly I’m a professional which means conversations on branding, development, and other stuff that gets very old very fast. I’m writing about poorblackinnercityyouth using language that is very distant as if I wasn’t one of those poorblackinnercityyouth just a few years ago.
Where is the fire that brought me to the sector? Why can’t I integrate it into my work instead of it being a separate private aspect of my identity that simply fuels it? I came across this powerful article a few days ago which states that as more nonprofits reach out to their poor constituents to see what the issues are, they neglect the employees who were poor and may have their own stories to tell. Have we considered how these conversations might renew commitment, shed light on different perspectives and ideas?
Or am I here to attend conferences on branding and the like?
It’s hard to keep passion, and I don’t think people like to admit it. It is very easy to get burned out, especially when you put so much energy into something.
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ajlovesya Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
There is def a bit of martyr mentality floating in the air in this sector–that giving all of yourself until you are burnt out is a good thing. I think that’s ridiculous, counterproductive, and a way of sugar coating some of the challenges professionals face in the sector.
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The past week or so I’ve been thinking hard about the nature of change. I’ve come to no conclusions whatsoever, but it’s a good mental battle. Your article and the one you linked to were timely additions to the fray. Thank you!
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ajlovesya Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Not a problem! Glad to share and thank you for commenting !
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Hey Alison,
This post is so fitting to where I am at currently. Also a recent college grad who has been TRYING to find employment in the nonprofit sector for the past five months (and really, at this point, to find ANY employment) I have experienced this HUGE disconnect between my passion for the work, social justice, and how I’m going about the job process.
On one hand, I need to get a job. I need to focus on how I’m “branding” myself, how my resumes and cover letters look and sound, how I’m “networking”, how I’m using social media.
But all this feel so far removed from the reasons I wanted to do the work in the first place, and at times, I feel like I’ve forgotten all those reasons. Its become so much more about my own survival. Its hard not to feel isolated from the cause and the people in the cause, at some times.
I wonder if there is a way to link basic job-searching techniques to the social issue at hand – in my case, increasing college access.
I’d love to continue this conversation – feel free to check out my blog!
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ajlovesya Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
One thing I am noticing now and wish I noticed earlier are the similarities between the np and fp sectors. We assume, that by wanting to work in the np sector, that the trials of job searching, wanting fulfillment, networking, etc are either not existent or not as a big of a deal as in the fp sector. I am learning that this approach is not helpful. At the same time, passion brings us to the sector so we tend to feel a disconnection. Maybe we should focus on the change we want to see instead of on a particular sector?
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This made me think about why I am in non-profit, and particularly, why I took this job (I work for a disabilities service provider). Somedays I think it was because it was the best opportunity and I needed a job. But when I read this, and think about it, I remember that it’s because when I was in college, I worked with a boy who had developmental disabilities, and nobody wanted to give that kid a fighting chance, because they were ashamed to admit he had a disability in the first place. Now my job is to bring these people into the light, and to make people see them, and hopefully encourage them to stop turning away and start embracing them. Thanks for the great post/reflection prompt.
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ajlovesya Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Thanks for sharing and showing your commitment! I must say that surrounding myself with people who maintain their passion helps in maintaining mine.
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I’ve struggled with the same questions, especially as each successive nonprofit job takes me farther away from what I love to do. On one hand, I could take time to recalibrate my career and steer it back toward my passions. On the other hand, who’s to say that I can’t do as much good working in nonprofit infrastructure, or development prospecting, or any other dry department? I feel both trapped and empowered, because the longer I work in these more detached areas, the better I get at them, but the rustier I get at my passions. Maybe one solution is to work where we can, lifeless or not, and keep up with our passions on the side. Contracting, volunteering, blogging…there are lots of opportunities for that kind of balance.
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ajlovesya Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Exactly–there is a struggle between the professional and personal aspirations and trying to find a way to bridge the two. I thought by entering the sector that the two would always be in sync. Obviously that isnt the case! Now I need to find creative ways to keep myself motivated and passionate for my cause. Thanks for sharing!
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Allison -
Thank you for articulating this! It is a struggle to ‘keep the fire’ while balancing societal dictates and constraints, but it’s so important. I think for many people this goes in cycles as they ebb under constraints and then burst out through finding something that motivates them again (a particular project, group of inspirational colleagues, etc…). Please do keep up your efforts, for your passion (whether you can always see it or not) does much to motivate others!
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ajlovesya Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
That’s so true–ups and downs are part of any job and perhaps Im just going through a down because I certainly have bursts of inspiration and motivation like when Im helping kids apply for high schools and colleges or raising money and handing out scholarships for families. It helps to keep stock of the opportunities that allow me to keep that passion. Thank you!
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Indeed. Wanted to share some lyrics from a Rush song “Mission” -
Hold your fire –
Keep it burning bright
Hold the flame
’til the dream ignites –
A spirit with a vision
Is a dream with a mission
We don’t have enough dreams with mission… more like daydreams, and how much better is a spirit that is not just passionate, but has vision too (warning: may involve obtuse classes)? Ok on a practical note, I find that I need to get away from one thing and need to come back to it again. Going from one world to the next, is good. Being in one world too long makes the world seem smaller than it is.
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ajlovesya Reply:
October 28th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Thanks for sharing that. Sometimes I consider what it would like to step out of the sector for a moment, still addressing my issue but with a new perspective. I have heard that suggestion before for the same reason–it can feel too small and even suffocating if you stay in one place.
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I totally understand and appreciate this post.
“The language I use is no longer for the sole purpose of exploring my experiences. Now, I’m describing someone else’s experiences for someone else’s use.” Thanks for continuing to use your words and story to create a meaningful connection. To me, that’s what working in the nonprofit sector is all about.
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Great post. The couple of things that came to mind were: 1) If what you are doing isn’t connected to the mission, then you’re probably just wasting your donor’s money and should stop doing it. I work in one of those “dry” development jobs, but almost everything I do is directly connected and has a huge impact on the mission of my organization. I don’t raise money and resources: I help inspire executives to get involved; I help provide the funds that keep the organization going; we don’t do speaking engagements, we are building passion and support for our cause and the cause of our clients; I don’t write grants–I’m inviting foundations to take a hard look at an issue area and make a significant and impactful investment in our mission. I sit through tons of meetings that are pointless and don’t connect with the mission and passion–and so nothing happens. I forget about them–quickly, because there is plenty of legitimate, passionate work that has to be done. Seth Godin had a great post a while back: when someone asks you what you do, do you tell them your job title or how you help further your organization’s mission?
Second thing: You clearly know what you want to be doing–although some of the people who have commented here don’t sound quite that sure–so it will be easy for you to reconnect. I don’t always agree with Rosetta Thurman’s views, but I really do agree with her on this point: you are in charge of being where you want to be. If being on the marketing side of the organization isn’t your thing, then find a way to start getting back on the program side of the fence–take your marketing team and go spend a couple hours a week doing the program work and your marketing is likely to get better and be more relevant. I take several hours a week to make sure I’m speaking with our clients–to find out their issues, struggles, hopes and dreams–and I’m a better fundraiser for it because I can help my donors connect with the mission in more meaningful ways. I also agree with Rosetta that you will have to be a leader before you are “officially” recognized as a leader–if you have a valid point of view that connects with your donors, clients and staff and that helps keep you passionate then speak up. You might get shot down–and if you do, try and find out why: a turf war, is there something you can learn, or are you just learning what kind of leader you don’t want to become when you are in charge?
I appreciate the honesty of this post, but I can’t quite stop thinking that there’s not really a problem here. You know what you want, what you’re interested in, and what you want to be doing. It sounds like you’re throwing up a lot of things that are “pushing you away” from your dreams–are you being pushed away or are you walking?
Oh, and I’ve worked for profit–I even went and got my MBA. There are a lot of passionate people that work in that world, too, but this problem exists there just as much here. It isn’t the job. And I’ve rarely ever worked somewhere where people were maliciously trying to kill my passion and dreams–and even when I have worked for that person … she’s gone and I’m energized more than ever.
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Awesome. Anger is seriously underrated. Thank you for sharing some of your story, and your passions.
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