Learning to be Single and Happy
Whatever excitement I lack in my job I make up for in my dating life. My job for the past 8 months has been pretty steady with the boredom and foolishness. However, my dating life always has some unexpected curves.
For example, after putting myself back on the dating scene after a few months of laying low I met a wonderful guy. We instantly connected and have spent the past three months together. Three months is a long time, aint it? Well, it is to me. However, I sensed that maybe he was pulling back so I asked him straight up what the deal was. The conversation went a little something like this:
Him: Would it bother you if I had a girlfriend/wife?
Me: Do you?
Him: I like you but I have a girlfriend. How you wanna handle it?
This was the initial “I’m letting you know you’re just a side chick so don’t go thinking anything special will happen between us” conversation. We talked about it some more and I—being the admittedly lonely young woman that I am—agreed to see him once more. I wont get into the details but needless to say I feel absolutely disgusted with myself. Why? Because I am fully aware of the fact that he will never care for me the way I deserve to be, yet I settled for fifth place so I wouldn’t be alone.
And therein lies the problem.
My best friend told me that I wouldn’t put up with nonsense if I got more comfortable being alone. I agree whole heartedly. I find myself wishing too often for someone to fill up my time. I don’t like my job, I don’t like Philly, and I don’t have many friends here. So not only am I alone, I am unfulfilled and uninspired. All it takes is a little attention to make me feel good and I lose all common sense.
To top it off I came across this lovely article about how upwardly mobile/successful women have an incredibly difficult time landing men.
I am by no means successful and I have a horrible romance life. You mean it only gets worse from here?!!
I am quick to tell someone that putting too much into your job—especially your first job—can leave you feeling frustrated and disappointed; that it’s important to have a balance between work and personal life. The problem with me is that my personal life clings on the idea of being completed by someone leaving me more prone to romantic frustration and disappointment.
The more I think about it the more I realize that I need to work on completing myself.